Venus DeMars

Venus DeMars
Glass Plate photo

Friday, February 5, 2010

The door stickies Lynette put up for my 'tour return'

Lynette drove her new car to work today for the first time. Hope it all goes well... though I'm 98% sure it should.

We're both happy that she's now one step closer to getting back to her old self. Still, it'll be about 6 more weeks of crutches if that all goes well, and she's given up on coming along with the band on our short tour/gig in NY on Feb 20th. (That's the one place she usually comes along to when we gig out of town.... I wonder why ;) ;) at "Arlene's Grocery" as part of "Bad Ass Burlesque," who invited to be the 1st musical guest for this night. (so DON'T be late if you plan to go!! 11:30 p.m. sharp!)

I'll miss her.
We often take a time just for the two of us to be on the town in NY... (we have our favorite restaurant: The Gramercy Tavern ( just near the hotel we always stay at, and in which we created an installation room: (#5D the "All The Pretty Horses" or "Venus & Lynette" room.. top floor... I did the paintings, Lynette wrote the poems:) "The Carlton Arms"( -- but I'll miss that night out this trip.

Our #5D Room (..stolen from the Carlton Arm's website --
(forgive me guys ;))

The last two weeks have unfortunately been pretty stressful on both of us.
Mostly because we're just not good under stress.
I tend to get quiet, which makes Lynette worry, and she tends to be more direct in her dialogue with me, which triggers my reactionary self.
-- A Bad Mix!!

So we kept taking our walks down the old 'spiral staircase ' of habitual ' Let's just Irritate each other for a while, shall we? ' Sheesh! you'd think after all this time we'd know better... but there you go. I know those of you out there in relationships know what I'm talking about. - Then the guilt kicks in... and just makes everyone feel worse. Ugh!

But we do talk through these things... at least we've learned to do that. Stumbling as we do...but we at least, stumble forward.

I just finished reading a book a friend of ours lent us: "Still Alice," (review link) about a woman who got early onset Alzheimer's. As some of you know.., My mom is dealing with age related dementia now. (it came on noticeably pretty quickly for us over the past 3 years... but perhaps it was a few years before that she was dealing with it without knowing.) You may remember seeing her in the documentary about me and Lynette and the band: 'Venus of Mars' ( by Emily Goldberg.
- Anyway it's a very good, but very sad book. and it reminded me of how crazy tangled relationships can be.

How we manage the tangles makes the difference.

It's kind of a found, and lost, and found again kind of path we take. I feel often now that I've lost my mom... but she's always happy to see me when I take time to be up in my hometown taking care of her. So I know she doesn't feel like she's lost me.
When Lynette and I are struggling through a stupid 'torn a part' relationship situation... there's that 'Lost' feeling which can overwhelm you... but then, just as suddenly, you find yourself, and your loved partner...and you remember just how lucky you are in life.

--- I'm thinking it's about time for another song writing session for me. (My usual outlet on this subject ;)


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